I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
