Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize
