she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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