If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i think im in europe. pls send help
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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