Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
