Betty ford says i'm here all night
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
