shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
