Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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