Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
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Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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