I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I need a beard to bite.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
