it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
