My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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