so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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