WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
