Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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