No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
