Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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