Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
