I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize