Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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