one two three fourrrrnication!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
