this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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