Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize