Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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