My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
