I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
