i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
