If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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