is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
