We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
