oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
