whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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