When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
