lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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