from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
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He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
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WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Please don't give away my fajitas
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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