We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
