Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
