The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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