Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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