I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
