And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
