the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
