This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
