woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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