conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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