Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
