oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
