so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
