he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
