I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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