Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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