Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
