he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
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Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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