how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
