Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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