i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
