maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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