I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
