sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
