Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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